


War Makes Beasts Of Us All

by bakedpotatocat



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Blood on Your Hands, Canon Continuation, F/F, Gen, Guilt, Metal Gear Solid References, POV Multiple, POV Second Person, PTSD, The Homestuck Epilogues: Candy, Trauma, War is hell, head injuries
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-12-28
Updated: 2020-01-18
Packaged: 2021-02-26 03:55:07
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 10
Words: 12,301
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21997084
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bakedpotatocat/pseuds/bakedpotatocat
Summary: When Vriska Serket falls to Earth C and kills Gamzee Makara, she kicks off a chain of events that could end Jane Crocker's genocidal reign once and for all.A canon continuation fic centering on Karkat Vantas' personal war and the pain and penance a lifetime of fighting has brought.Picks up immediately following the Christmas Eve Homestuck^2 upd8.
Relationships: Kanaya Maryam & Karkat Vantas, Rose Lalonde/Kanaya Maryam, Vriska Serket & Karkat Vantas
Comments: 2
Kudos: 26





	1. TABLE OF CONTENTS

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> At time of publishing I have the first two arcs (the first eight chapters) drafted, as well as the ending chapters. Will post a new chapter every day, ideally, while maintaining a draft backlog.

TABLE OF CONTENTS

CHAPTER ONE: REQUISITION

CHAPTER TWO: RECLAMATION

CHAPTER THREE: EXHIBITION

PARALOGUE ONE: INVESTIGATION

CHAPTER FOUR: INTERROGATION

CHAPTER FIVE: CONFRONTATION

CHAPTER SIX: ACCULTURATION

PARALOGUE TWO: RECONFIGURATION

CHAPTER SEVEN: EXAMINATION 

CHAPTER EIGHT: VINDICATION

CHAPTER NINE: ACQUISITION

PARALOGUE THREE: DISCONTINUATION

CHAPTER TEN: DELIBERATION

CHAPTER ELEVEN: CONTEMPLATION

CHAPTER TWELVE: PRESENTATION

PARALOGUE FOUR: NEUTRALIZATION

CHAPTER THIRTEEN: INFILTRATION

CHAPTER FOURTEEN: EXPLOITATION

CHAPTER FIFTEEN: EXCOMMUNICATION

PARALOGUE FIVE: TRANSFIGURATION

CHAPTER SIXTEEN: INSTALLATION

CHAPTER SEVENTEEN: EMANCIPATION

CHAPTER EIGHTEEN: ORATION

PARALOGUE SIX: REINTEGRATION


	2. CHAPTER ONE: REQUISITION

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harry Anderson makes a phone call.

==> Be Harry Anderson.

HARRY: Oh shit.

This was fucking bad. Two Vriskas, only one of them your oft-flipped matesprit (called Vrissy now, sure, why the hell not) and Tavros hiding somewhere in the school with a dead clown (no, check that, the dead clown, the primo juggalorator himself, Gamzee fucking Makara-Crocker) and its being posted all over social media. Welp, your friends are dead. Tavros is going to wish he is, anyway, and Vriska Maryam-Lalonde might get away with never seeing moonlight again. Man, maybe it is time to get political. Dad and Uncle Jake are probably going to be useless (and the fact that Vriska fucking Serket is back will probably blow their tiny fucking minds) and Mom’s too attached to Janey to actually do anything about it. Fuck it. You take out the glasses case Aunt Rose (its easier and less fucked up than saying grandmacousin) gave you, take out your glasses (contacts are soooooooo much better) and smash it on the ground in front of you. A tiny piece of paper slips out of the remains. You pinch your nose and dial the encoded line to Aunt Kanaya’s cell. 

KANAYA: Hello  
KANAYA: The Caller ID Is Coming Up Blank So I Assume This Is Either A Burner Or A New Contact  
KANAYA: Please State Your Name And The Nature Of The Call Before I Determine You As An Enemy And Blow Up Your Phone Remotely  
KANAYA: Its Nothing Personal  
KANAYA: But I Will

Gunshots can be heard in the background of the other end, and you hear the whirr of Aunt Kanaya’s chainsaw slowly coming to a stop. She sounds irritated, which from what you’ve heard from Mom and Dad, means she’s pissed.  


HARRY: hi aunt Kanaya!  
HARRY: its Harry Anderson  
HARRY: this is a bit of an emergency, i think  
HARRY: and I didn’t know who to call  
KANAYA: I’m Glad To Hear From You, Harry, Its Been A While  
KANAYA: I’ll Keep This Brief Because It’s A Bit Of A Bad Time Right Now  
KANAYA: One Second Please  


A man screams as the chainsaw whirrs up to full. You decide not to ask.  


KANAYA: Do You Need Someone To Come Pick You Up?  
HARRY: Yeah, i think i do  
KANAYA: Is There Anyone Else That Needs To Be Extracted With You?  


She’s all business, that one. At least right now, Vrissy says she can get pretty snarky when they’re just hanging out at home.

HARRY: yeah uh  
HARRY: tavros, me, vrissy…  
KANAYA: I’m Assuming Vriska Has Acquired Yet Another Nickname?  
HARRY: yeah about that  
HARRY: also vriska serket is apparently back in town  
HARRY: i saw pictures and everything, looks just like the scrapbook photos Aunt Rose showed me once  
KANAYA: Oh  
KANAYA: Hmmm  
KANAYA: Well We Can Discuss That Later  
KANAYA: Hopefully Whatever Trouble You Are In Will Blow Over  
KANAYA: Otherwise We Might Need To See About Witness Protection  
??????: geT ouT of my fucking caverns, you handfooTbeasT-ass moTherfucker!!!!  
KANAYA: Where Are You Currently  
HARRY: School.  
KANAYA: I Would Come But The Jades And I Are A Little Engaged Right Now And Rose Is Still Leading On Another Front I Believe  
??????: _eat_lead_you_pieces_of_shit_  
KANAYA: But I Don’t Trust Many People To Extract You From The Human Kingdom Successfully  
KANAYA: Karkat Will Be Right Over  
HARRY: uncle kar-  
KANAYA: See You Soon Stay Safe Have Fun Goodbye  


The line clicks off. You sit for a moment in shock – you haven’t seen Uncle Karkat in like ten years, he’s been in hiding since at least uncle Dave’s wedding – and then get your ass in gear to go round up the rest of your idiot friends plus one.

The fire alarm is going off, for some reason, but you manage to sneak your way back inside. Your mom - back when she was cool and not incredibly weird all the time - taught you some nice tricks about breaking into government institutions; something about disaster preparation and the end of the world. Your family’s lives are fucked up. The window opens real easy, although you aren’t as adept at climbing to the second story as you were when you were 10 or so. You text Vrissy. 

HARRY: where tf are yall  
VRISSY: first floor west wing janitorial closet please hurry im freakin out  
VRISSY: tavros has gone mute and is just shaking quietly and Vriska is CACKLING for some reason  
VRISSY: heyyyyyyyy eg8ert junior was 8oppin  
VRISSY: fuck shes trying to steal my phone  
VRISSY: shes acting REALLY weird i think she might have actually hit her head really badly when she fell out of the sky  
VRISSY: and its just starting to affect her  
HARRY: im coming!  
HARRY: also she fell out of the sky?  
VRISSY: i can see the gears in your dum8ass head turning  
VRISSY: THIS IS NOT THE TIME TO MAKE A  
VRISSY: ‘DID IT HURT WHEN YOU FELL FROM HEAVEN’ JOKE HARRY  
HARRY: was not!  
VRISSY: don’t lie to me  
HARRY: …okay maybe i was thinking about it  
HARRY: anyways hang tight im gonna find you and then help is on the way  
HARRY: troll resistance army help  
VRISSY: YOU CALLED MY MOM?  
HARRY: I HAD TO!  
HARRY: GAMZEE’S DEAD BODY IS ALL OVER SOCIAL MEDIA  
VRISSY: f8ck.  
HARRY: just stay where you are, i’m coming  


You get to the janitorial closet and do the ‘haircut and a close shave, two bits’ knock your dad always does. Vrissy peeks the door open and you cram inside, working to calm down your girlfriend. Its more than a little pale but fuck it, you’re a human and its an emergency, you can blur the lines a little. Tavros is mentally somewhere else, although he seems functional, which is both relieving and terrifying at the same time. Vriska is out of it. Just laughing to herself like she’s crossfaded, and very uneasy on her feet. From what you’ve heard, probably a pretty bad concussion, and the adrenaline is wearing off, leaving her like… this. Okay, Harry Anderson, this is maybe the one useful thing for all that toxic masculinity your dad carries around. You’re the man in charge, take command and figure a way out of here.

Just as you start to get your thoughts in order, a gray hand rips open the closet door, and a tall shadow darkens the small space. Your back is to him, but the other three’s eyes widen in shock. Vriska’s one uncovered eye, despite her faux-inebriated state, has the glimmer of recognition in it.  


VRISKA: 8ig 8oss is that you????????  
KARKAT: KEPT YOU WAITING, HUH?


	3. CHAPTER TWO: RECLAMATION

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Vrissy Maryam-Lalonde recovers a dead body.

==> Be Vrissy Maryam-Lalonde.

You’re not sure whether you are more or less fucked now that KARKAT FUCKING VANTAS, LEADER OF THE REVOLUTION, is here. Less likely to be literally killed, yes, but holy shit you are in trouble once mom finds out. You haven’t seen this guy since you were like 3 sweeps old. He’s a lot taller, scruffier, and quieter than you remember, and while his voice is soft, its got the rasp like a lifelong smoker and still has the intonation of him yelling. He leans down, and while his voice is restrained and gentle, it has obvious notes of urgency in it.

KARKAT: MARYAM.

Makes sense he’d call you that, he and Mum are apparently still really close.

KARKAT: WE’RE GOING TO GET THE FOUR OF Y’ALL OUT OF HERE.   
KARKAT: BUT FIRST  
KARKAT: I NEED TO KNOW WHERE THE CLOWN IS.  
VRISSY: The Clown is Dead.  
KARKAT: I KNOW.  
KARKAT: BUT SINCE YOU TURNED YOUR BACK ON THE BODY  
KARKAT: HE MIGHT NOT STAY THAT WAY.  
KARKAT: WHERE IS GAMZEE’S CORPSE?  


You wonder why he’s asking you this, but you can tell he’s pointedly trying not to look at Vriska, and Harry and Tavros are both in mild states of shock.

VRISSY: It’s in the hall, down the way. The Fire Alarm went off, so I don’t think anyone would have moved it. KARKAT: SHOW ME.  
KARKAT: EYEPATCH, CAN YOU WALK?  


You know he knows who Vriska is. You recognized her on sight, for fucks sake. 

VRISKA: Hehehehe. I dunno, can I?  


She sways on her feet, blood leaking from beneath her eyepatch, and Harry catches her. 

KARKAT: THAT’S A NO.  


He slings her up in a semi-piggyback, loosely tying her hands around his neck, and securing her legs against his waist. 

VRISKA: Nu88y horns seem famili8r…  
KARKAT: LETS GO.  


Its one hell of a parade. You take point, and Tavros and Harry walk inbetween, with Karkat, more than a foot taller than anyone else, holding the rear with Vriska strapped to his back. There’s a pistol strapped on his leg – faster than captchaloguing, you suppose – and a knife hilted at the small of his back. He’s a seasoned commando, you remember. Terror of the troll forces. His eyes have filled in completely candy red, but its unsettling, in the same way the pictures of Terezi were. His skin is darker and rougher than any of the trolls ectobiologized – the genetic code was synthesized from adolescents, and adult trolls on Earth C never quite grow into their full ancestral forms, staying closer to the light grey, mostly humanoid form the young trolls possessed. Karkat may be an ecto-clone himself, but something about the paradox source meant he was still bred for war. Mum is too, but she doesn’t look it, being a rainbow drinker and all. You look down at your own hands. Soon you’ll start the process of your final molt – you were one of the first all-natural trolls on Earth C. Straight from the mothergrub. Your fingers are soft and light. If the stories were to be believed Serket had already killed thousands by your age. Hell of a heritage. You suppose you could ask her, but she’s rambling about Troll Metal Gear Solid and FLARP and how cosplay got a hell of a lot better.

Vriska’s great. It’s hard being a kid and growing up under a fascist dictatorship, but you get the idea that she understands better than anyone else. 

You round the corner, and the juggalorator’s corpse is still there.

KARKAT: THANK FUCK.  


Too bad there’s some random asshole laying claim.

AVRIL: step off this is mine  
AVRIL: i’m livestreaming this shit and then im gonna turn the body into the government for #fat #stacks  


She doesn’t seem to notice the adult troll walking up to her.

KARKAT: MOVE.  
AVRIL: nuh uh i don’t care who you are finders keepers  
KARKAT: THE CORPSE IS CLAIMED. THESE THREE KILLED HIM.  
AVRIL: oh shit  
KARKAT: WOULD YOU LIKE TO JOIN THE CLOWN IN THE AFTERLIFE?  
AVRIL: nah im callin ur bluff i don’t care what kind of big bad tough guy you are you wouldn’t hurt a kid  


Faster than anything you’ve ever seen Karkat slams her against the lockers, fangs out and one hand holding her up by the throat.

VRISKA: oh shiiiiiiiit.  
VRISKA: u fucked up orangey hah hah  
KARKAT: TRY ME.  


He rips the phone out of her hand and smashes it beneath his boot.

KARKAT: IF YOU WANT TO LIVE  
KARKAT: STOP TALKING.  


Tavros and Harry look sick. You get the idea they’ve never seen real violence in person before. Vriska is just straight up vibing, somehow. The concussion really did a number on her. And as sick to your stomach seeing a grown man assault someone your age makes you… you get the feeling this is him showing restraint. Alternia ain’t nothin to fuck with. He scoops up Gamzee’s body in a fireman’s carry and holy shit he must be ripped beneath that urban camo jumpsuit. Carrying two deadweight bodies like its nothing. You stalk through the halls to the back lot, where Tavros’s car is. 

KARKAT: SECOND RULE OF COMBAT IS DON’T TURN YOUR BACK ON THE BODY. MAKE THE MISTAKE AGAIN, IT MIGHT GET SOMEONE YOU CARE ABOUT KILLED.  
HARRY: What’s the first rule?  
KARKAT: IF YOU ARE FIGHTING SOMEONE, AIM TO CRIPPLE OR KILL. MERCY OR HESITATION GETS YOU KILLED.  
HARRY: what about that girl?  
KARKAT: THAT WASN’T A FIGHT.  


A combead you didn’t notice before now buzzes to life in Karkat’s ear.

OPERATOR: dispatch to big boss –--  
KARKAT: READING YOU.  
OPERATOR: you got enemy forces inbound ---  
OPERATOR: strike team accompanied by ---  
OPERATOR what looks to be a pattern 3 drone ---  
KARKAT: SHIT. ETA?  
OPERATOR: sooner than you’d like ---  
OPERATOR: they don’t seem to know you’re on the scene ---  
OPERATOR: flying in slow and steady ---  
KARKAT: ACKNOWLEDGED. OVER AND OUT.  


He turns to the three of you, a tired yet determined look on his face.

KARKAT: WE’RE FIGHTING OUR WAY OUT.  



	4. CHAPTER THREE: EXHIBITION

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Vriska Serket has a headache.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The Graphic Depictions of Violence tag is real news, y'all. Consider yourselves warned.

==> Be Vriska Serket.

holy shiiiiiiiiiiit, his name IS big boss! real bony shoulders though, and just a MESS of hair. not the best piggyback ride you’ve been on. that goes to like. Terezi, of course. dave wasn’t half bad but he was a twig too. this guy REALLY reminds u of someone but u cant put your finger on who. man, you miss Terezi, she would know who this guy is. everything feels so swimmy. you aren’t dying, you know what that feels like, so you figure your brainpan went for a real tumble. oh that’s right, gamzee’s here. he looks very dead. wait, is that his blood on your hands? holy shit, you think you killed gamzee. that kinda rules actually, though you aren’t sure why you didn’t just do that like. a long time ago. something about cant keep down the clown. Terezi would know. shit, you miss her. oh big boss is putting you down now, leaning you against a car. the car seems familiar too. maybe you should listen to what hes saying. that’s a REALLY good cosplay Kanaya must have worked on it for ages 

BIG BOSS: MARYAM.   
BIG BOSS: ROSE TAUGHT YOU HOW TO HOTWIRE A CAR.  
VRISSY: That’s not really a Question?  
BIG BOSS: IT ISNT.  
BIG BOSS: GET ON IT.  
TAVROS: why don’t,  
TAVROS: we take my car?  
BIG BOSS: ODDS ARE IT HAS A TRACKER ON IT.  


dang its bright out, the sun and your headache sure are making it hard to follow this conversation. you sure hope you aren’t going blind that would SUCK. Terezi would make so much fun of you. 

big boss props you up against the back of a car, facing the street, and leans gamzee against your shoulder. man, this sucks. but hey, big boss must have a plan! 

he disappears into the shrubbery nearby and your friends are out of sight, you think breaking into another car. 

a hovercraft lands (damn this is some nice production value, sci-fi flarp was so low-budget back in the day) and a squad of like… six guys comes out? theyre kinda blurry, you cant get an exact count. one of them points a rifle at you. you must be a hostage! yeah, that’s your part in this flarp. you try and wave but man your limbs are heavy. he yells something at you but it doesn’t process. oh, does he want gamzee? why would anyone want gamzee lol 

a shadow stalks out of the hovercraft and holy fuck your brain is suddenly back in gear. That’s a fucking drone, your ass is gonna get culled if you don’t get up and get moving immediately. Think, Serket. Get to cover first and then figure out how to get the fuck out of here. You force yourself up and the guy raises his rifle but thankfully your good friend gamzee soaks up the bullets for you. Man, he must have put on some weight, he feels way denser than he used to be. Not that a few bullets would stop you normally. 

you are trying to get up and there is so much yelling and all of a sudden holy shit people are hitting the pavement. a guy drops in front of you, a knife sprouting from his neck, and two more hit the ground, the cannon fire of an automatic rifle erupting in tandem with brain and red blood, much brighter than even the lightest burgundy, splattering everywhere. big boss is running from the bushes and full on tackles a guy, using him as a body shield to soak fire as the bushes disintegrate from a hail of bullets and then a grenade goes off and smoke chokes everything and you are coughing, and you hear more yelling and what must be a human in armor stumbles forward, a sickle buried so deep in his chest it pokes through the back, and he falls, coughing up blood in the smoke and you are screaming and then the 10-foot tall drone stalks forward and it is so big and you you are so small and it is going to kill you and jegus you just want to see Terezi one more time before you die and all of a sudden big boss is there, he is on its back climbing it like a feral purrbeast and there is a roar from the man, deeper and more bestial than anything you’ve heard come from a mortal body as he slams a metal fist into its biomechanical skull and rips out its brain. you breathe and there is a rifle slung around his neck and it disappears as he scrolls through some sort of captchalogue wheel and holy fuck that’s an RPG and its firing and the hovercraft rockets upward in an explosive haze 

you hear a scream from behind you and pick up the pistol from the dead man at your feet, the sickle having carved a bloody swathe through his ribcage, and you throw gamzee off of you and stagger forward and jegus you cant figure out how to decaptchalogue your sword and the last soldier has tavros held hostage in front of him and vrissy… why do you know that name, she looks and sounds so much like you… vrissy is squeezing a silenced pistol in her clammy grip and talking so fast, blue tears rimming her eyes, mascara running. and the soldier sees you stumbling with a gun in your hands and points his at you, and you can see from the practiced look in his eyes he is shooting to kill. the look that you saw reflected in shock-wide eyes so many times and you wonder briefly, because you remember with the adrenaline surging through your cobalt veins that you are a god, if your death will ever be anything other than just 

and seconds before you close your eyes you see that savior appear behind the soldier and scarred arms wrap around that thin human neck and twist and you hear the telltale sound of it snapping 

and you see a thin scratch on the savior’s cheek and its bleeding bright red candy blood neither troll nor human and all of a sudden you know who the big boss cosplayer with the bony shoulders and the messy hair and the angry edge to his voice is and you fall to your knees in shock and your voice is so small 

VRISKA: karkat?  


he wraps his too-long arms and too-tall, too dark, too old frame around you and you hear an all-too familiar sob course through him

KARKAT: YEAH VRISKA.  
KARKAT: ITS ME.  
KARKAT: IM SO FUCKING HAPPY TO SEE YOU.  


and your thinkpan, too fucked up to figure out what all of this means, feels the familiar warmth of a friend and you cry too


	5. PARALOGUE ONE: INVESTIGATION

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jane Crocker investigates a crime scene.

==> Be Jane Crocker

It’s a fucking madhouse down here. Military, forensics, paparazzi, police trying to keep back the students from the scene of the crime. A tiny little bit of you, deep down, gets excited at doing some detective work, although you already have an inkling who is responsible. It's those damn terrorists, of course, the ‘troll rights activists’ that have been preparing to wage a guerilla war for some time now. Not a day after open hostilities break out, they kill your lover and kidnap your only child from school. You told Tavros to stay away from that troll girl, her heritage is absolutely rotten. Your hovercraft descends to park at the edge of the scene, and you push yourself through the throngs of onlookers to the crime.

A six-man team, slaughtered to the man, and a third-generation drone destroyed. The men will be fine, in time, between your power and some mandated therapy, and while the drone is a loss, it can be replaced. Five of them are covered in white sheets, while a medic is zipping up the sixth into a body bag.

JANE: What are you doing? I need to heal him.  
MEDIC: I’m… sorry, ma’am. We checked the dog tags.  
MEDIC: Sergeant Roberts already received your blessing once.

Oh. You swallow.

JANE: That’s a shame. Nathan, remind me to send condolences to the family. He died a hero.

Your assistant nods.

NATHAN: Of course, ma’am.  
JANE: Let me see the corpse.  
MEDIC: Are you sure? It's not pretty.  
JANE: Young man, I have seen and authorized more death than you can imagine.

He unzips the body bag.

It isn’t pretty. His head is gone, and a pulpy mess of meat in its place. You try and remember if you’ve met him before, piece together what he could have looked like, what the leader of one of the special forces teams under your command was like. You can’t. There are just too many to count. You can feel the ghost of a life force still clinging to his body, but not enough to save. It’s a shame, but you even if it would be politically advantageous to shed a tear of grief, you aren’t able to. There’s too many to get attached.

JANE: Zip it back up.

Where the bodies were found has been marked with chalk, for the ones that they moved. There’s blood and guts everywhere, and you can feel the pulse of life where blood has been spilled.

It was a massacre.

Six of your finest troops and a drone killed in under a minute, from the way the blood pools pulse. There are very few people who could have done this.

You look at the bodies. Puncture wounds in neck and chest suggest bladed weapons, but they are mostly clean, so that rules out Maryam’s chainsaw. Two men died to headshots from a high-caliber rifle, one more to friendly fire, which suggests shock-and-awe tactics. Mix of ranged and close combat suggests extreme pragmatism, and with the clean neck snap of the squad’s youngest member, no predisposition towards toying with their prey, which rules out the Peixes. Could be Rose, but she doesn’t often get her hands dirty. Dave is a possibility, but he sticks to swords. Jade is more likely, especially with the high explosives that detonated the ship, but with her power she wouldn’t need to fight her way out, and wouldn’t have.

There is only one man that could have done this, that would have done this as efficiently as he did.

One man that could in the span of an hour kill and kidnap her closest loved ones, and brutally murder six men in front of her son.

One man who she viscerally despises more than anyone else on the planet, because at least with Maryam Jane understands the maternal instincts that drive her to protect her species. Kanaya doesn’t understand that trolls are inherently a threat to society, what with their instincts and population and all, but that can be forgiven, and once upon a time she believed Rose would see logic and come around to the side of right. She was wrong, at least for now, but there was hope there, especially if Roxy could get through to her. Meenah had always been rotten, so it was a very professional disgust that Jane felt. But Vantas… he exemplified everything wrong with trolls. Had once been a good man, if a little shouty. And yet, eventually, his baser nature took over. Bloodthirsty, violent, killed without a second thought, tore his way through hordes of men no matter the measures put in place. They’d only managed to even seriously wound him once, taking an eye and a hand in the process. The scariest thing about him was that he seemed to instinctively understand the relationships her men shared with one other, and who to take out first to cause the most chaos. Every battle he fought, officers and team leaders and linchpins were prioritized, even after they stopped wearing insignia.

The only reason he hadn’t torn a bloody swath through her forces was because he had politics of his own to attend to.

Nathan got her attention. There was something she needed to see, apparently, before she started the process of resurrecting the fallen.

Painted on the rear window of Tavros’s car, in all-too familiar purple blood, was a warning. She felt her own blood rise, and stalked closer, wanting to get a closer look.

NATHAN: ma’am i wouldn’t recommend that bomb squad hasn’t-  
YoUrE nExT bAtTeRwItCh >:o)  
JANE: THAT SON OF A FUCKING BITCH I SWEAR I’LL KILL HIM MYS-

The car exploded, knocking Jane backwards, and shredding her pantsuit with shards of glass. Not high enough grade to kill a god, just enough to ruin her day. A perfect media stunt to make her look like a fool in front of the photographers.

God damn, did she hate Karkat Vantas.


	6. CHAPTER FOUR: INTERROGATION

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tavros Crocker has some questions he needs answered.

==> Be Tavros Crocker.

Harry is driving the stolen car en route to the Carapace Kingdom, although Mr. Vantas hasn’t yet told you all how you’re going to get across the border. It’s silent. Vriska is slumped, sleeping, against Karkat’s (right, that’s what he told you to call him) shoulder in the backseat. Next to them, Vrissy is staring out the window blankly, and Harry similarly looks mostly unfocused on the road ahead. You turned off the radio after the first reports of the violence at the school came in. Karkat fiddles idly with a knife, turning it through his fingers in a practiced way that unsettles you.

You aren’t sure what to make of the past couple hours. Gamzee is dead and yet again in the trunk, which is fantastic, and it looks like he’s going to stay that way. You aren’t used to watching violence happen. Mom kept you far away from any of that, and yet it all happened so fast. The memory of the man’s grip around your chest, and the press of his pistol against your temple scares you less than how terrified Vrissy and Harry looked. You look down at your hands. Soft, not used to hard work, much less war. You don’t think you’ll ever forget the sound of a neck snapping only about a foot away from your own. You took a glance, later, at the guy who had held you hostage, whose heart rate you had felt jump as Vriska and Vrissy each pointed guns at him. He looked maybe five years older than you were. A kid, in the long run of things. And while it was likely Mom would bring him back from the dead, you knew from the whispers around her office that dying took a heavy psychological toll.

You don’t know how to feel about the fact that Karkat saved your life by ruining another.

(he had given Vrissy the gun, told her to shoot to kill if anyone got close)

(she didn’t, because you got grabbed)

(could you have, if karkat had trusted you instead with the heavy pistol?)

Karkat clears his throat, breaking you out of the spiral of thoughts.

KARKAT: TAVROS.  
TAVROS: yes,?  
KARKAT: I SHOULD APOLOGIZE.  
TAVROS: no, no, you don’t, i understand that,  
TAVROS: the guy slipped past you, i’m grateful,  
TAVROS: for being saved, trust me  
KARKAT: NO, NOT FOR THAT, ALTHOUGH I’M NOT PARTICULARLY HAPPY WITH MYSELF ON THAT FRONT EITHER.  
KARKAT: I WANT TO APOLOGIZE ABOUT GAMZEE.  


Harry’s eyes flit from the road into the rearview mirror, slightly concerned. Vrissy turns slightly, trying not to look like she’s listening on what ideally should be a very private conversation. Vriska shifts in her sleep. 

You gulp a little but try to brace yourself. 

TAVROS: you, don’t have to apologize, it’s no one’s fault but his own,  
TAVROS: and now he’s dead, which is a good thing,  
KARKAT: BUT IT IS MY FAULT, IN A CERTAIN WAY.  
KARKAT: I SHOULD HAVE KILLED HIM MORE THAN TWENTY YEARS AGO.  
VRISSY: You can’t 8lame yourself for the A8use of the Clown.  
KARKAT: OH, BUT I CAN.  
KARKAT: ON ALTERNIA, THE QUADRANTS WERE MOSTLY THERE TO KEEP SOCIETY FUNCTIONING.  
KARKAT: IT WAS MOSTLY THE MOIRAILS JOB TO KEEP HIGHBLOODS IN CHECK, BUT IT WAS ALL OF THEIR QUADRANTS.  
KARKAT: IF A QUADRANTMATE WAS THREATENING SOMEONE ELSE YOU CARED ABOUT, IT WAS YOUR JOB TO STOP THEM.  
KARKAT: NORMALLY, THAT FELL UNDER THE ROLE OF AN AUSPITICE OR A KISMESIS, BECAUSE THEY WERE A LITTLE MORE DISTANT, A LITTLE MORE PREPARED TO KILL THE PERSON THAT GOT OUT OF LINE, THAN A MOIRAIL OR MATESPRIT.  
KARKAT: GAMZEE DIDN’T HAVE ANY QUADRANTS EXCEPT FOR ME, AS HIS EX-MOIRAIL, WHEN WE WON THE GAME.  
KARKAT: I SHOULD HAVE KNOWN HE WAS TOO DANGEROUS TO LET LIVE.  
KARKAT: IT WAS MY JOB TO PUT HIM DOWN, AND I FAILED, AND YOU GOT HURT BECAUSE OF IT.  
KARKAT: I’M SORRY.  
TAVROS: you don’t, need to blame yourself  
TAVROS: it’s no one’s fault that he was abusive,  
KARKAT: YOU WERE FAILED BY YOUR FAMILY, TAVROS.  
KARKAT: I’M A PART OF THAT EXTENDED FAMILY.  
KARKAT: IT’S OKAY TO BE UPSET.  
KARKAT: BLAME ME, IF YOU WANT.  
KARKAT: IT MIGHT BE EASIER THAN BLAMING YOURSELF.  


There are tears leaking from your eyes now, and you aren’t quite sure why. You don’t think anyone’s ever said those words to you before? Any of them, really.

Vrissy and Harry are silent. Vriska snores softly, which should kill the mood, but it doesn’t, for some reason. It kind of grounds you in the moment.

You feel raw.

TAVROS: are you,  
TAVROS: going to kill my mom?  


Karkat sighs. You turn to face him, and he stares you dead in the eyes, speaking slowly, with intent, but resigned. It’s the face of an old soldier with more regrets than hairs on his head.

KARKAT: IF IT COMES TO THAT, GIVEN THE OPPORTUNITY, I’D PULL THE TRIGGER.  
TAVROS: is it like with gamzee?  
KARKAT: I SUPPOSE SO, YEAH.  
KARKAT: IN A WAY IT KIND OF IS.  
KARKAT: YOU CAN HATE ME FOR IT, IF YOU WANT, IF IT MAKES IT EASIER.  
KARKAT: YOU’RE A KID. YOU SHOULDN’T HAVE TO CARRY THAT BURDEN.  
KARKAT: WHEN I WAS THIRTEEN, MY WORLD CAME CRUMBLING DOWN, AND I WAS TASKED WITH BRINGING LIFE TO AN ENTIRE UNIVERSE IN ORDER TO SURVIVE.  
KARKAT: I FUCKED IT UP, BECAUSE I WAS A KID.  
KARKAT: AND I’M STILL PAYING FOR THOSE MISTAKES.  
KARKAT: I CAN’T UNDO THE PAST, TAVROS, BUT I CAN OFFER YOU A BETTER FUTURE.  
KARKAT: THAT’S WHAT I’M FIGHTING FOR.  
KARKAT: THAT’S THE ONLY THING WORTH FIGHTING FOR.  
TAVROS: thank you, i guess,  
KARKAT: IF YOU DON’T WANT TO GO HOME, I CAN OFFER YOU A WARM BED AT MOTHER BASE.  
KARKAT: YOU WOULDN’T HAVE TO FIGHT, IF YOU DIDN’T WANT TO.  
KARKAT: THINK ABOUT IT.  
TAVROS: i will.  


You do.


	7. CHAPTER FIVE: CONFRONTATION

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Karkat Vantas makes a few people angry.

==> Be Karkat Vantas.

You’re nearing the border between the Human and Carapace kingdoms now. It's taken you most of the day as you led Harry down back roads in order to evade the police cordons surrounding the area. You’ve stopped for gas now, and while Vriska is still asleep, Vrissy and Tavros went inside the station to use the restroom and get some snacks, both dressed in different clothes than before. Captchalogues made carrying disguises a lot easier. You’re worried about Vriska. She didn’t even recognize you at first, which means she’s either been gone a lot longer than her teenage form would suggest or that she’s really not well. You missed her. It's been so long since anyone who was in your session other than Kanaya was in your life. While you’re close to Kanaya, moirails in fact, there’s only so many times you can bring up the past. For whatever reason, it doesn’t haunt her the way it haunts you. Then again, she’s brought life into the world. For the past decade, you’ve only taken it, whether personally or by order. 

Harry Anderson finishes pumping gas and slides back into the driver’s seat. He turns to face you, a steeled look in his eye that reminds you of Roxy, all those years ago. Your temper flares a little, thinking of her, but you tamp it down. Not the kids fault he has shit parents. 

HARRY: we need to talk.  
KARKAT: EVIDENTLY.  
HARRY: firstly, I don’t think you handled the gam tav situation very well.  
KARKAT: NEVER SPEAK THOSE WORDS AGAIN.  
HARRY: what words  
KARKAT: GAM TAV. NEVER SAY THEM IN THAT ORDER OR THAT FORM.  
HARRY: fine. whatever.  
HARRY: its fucked up to tell a guy you should have killed his uncle twenty years ago, and that you’d kill his mom now if given the chance.  
KARKAT: IT’S THE TRUTH, AND HE NEEDED TO HEAR THE TRUTH.  
HARRY: its still fucked up.  
KARKAT: WHAT’S FUCKED UP IS IF TAVROS DOESN’T TRUST THAT I’M BEING COMPLETELY HONEST WITH HIM, AND TURNS US IN TO THE AUTHORITIES, BECAUSE THAT GETS US ALL KILLED.  
HARRY: FINE, whatever.  
HARRY: how are we crossing the border into the consort kingdom?  
KARKAT: YOU TELL THE GUARD THAT YOU’RE GOING TO YOUR MOM’S HOUSE, BECAUSE YOU’RE SHAKEN UP BY THE FACT THAT YOUR FRIENDS GOT KIDNAPPED AND A BUNCH OF SOLDIERS GOT KILLED BY A TERRORIST AT YOUR HIGHSCHOOL.  
KARKAT: THE REST OF US HIDE IN THE TRUNK AND YOU MAKE SURE THE GUARD DOESN’T LOOK.  
KARKAT: USE YOUR CLOUT AS THE SON OF A MAJOR SUPPORTER OF THE REGIME.  
HARRY: yeah, i’m not going to do that, because i didn’t want to get caught up in this in the first place.  


You can’t help yourself from tearing into him. He looks and sounds too much like the woman, the coward, who has made taking Jane Crocker down so difficult. 

KARKAT: CONSIDER THIS, HARRY ANDERSON, BECAUSE YOU CALLED ME IN TO BAIL YOU AND YOUR FRIENDS OUT.  
KARKAT: YOU ARE GUILTY TO HELPING PUBLIC ENEMY NUMBER ONE, YOURS TRULY, AND ACCESORY TO THE MURDER OF SIX MEN, AS WELL AS SEVERAL SMALLER CRIMES AGAINST THE STATE.  
KARKAT: I WON’T TALK, AND VRISKA MIGHT NOT EITHER, BUT ARE YOU SURE THAT LITTLE GIRLFRIEND OF YOURS WON’T CRACK UNDER TORTURE?  
KARKAT: THAT YOU WON’T?  
KARKAT: YOU WANT TO GO HOME ONCE VRISSY AND TAVROS ARE SOMEWHERE SAFE, FINE.  
KARKAT: BE MY GUEST.  
KARKAT: BUT DON’T INSULT ME BY BEING AS MUCH OF A COWARD AS YOUR PARENTS ARE, TOO SCARED TO PUT YOUR LIFE ON THE LINE FOR SOMETHING BIGGER THAN YOURSELF.  
KARKAT: GROWING UP MEANS CHOOSING THE MAN YOU ARE GOING TO BE. TO DO THE RIGHT THING, YOU SOMETIMES HAVE TO LEAVE THE THINGS YOU CARE ABOUT BEHIND. PARENTS, FAMILY, YOUR HOMELAND.  
KARKAT: WHAT WILL IT BE, BIG MAN ON CAMPUS?  
HARRY: i’ll get you across the border, and to whatever safe house you have there.  
HARRY: i wont rat you out, for vrissy and tavros’s sakes.  
HARRY: but that’s as far as i go.  


He snarls at you. You aren’t intimidated, though it makes you respect him a little more. 

HARRY: until we are free of each other you keep my parent’s fucking names out of your mouth.  
HARRY: deal?  
KARKAT: I CAN LIVE WITH THAT.  


He stares at you, narrowing his eyes, but he breaks first, turning back around when Vrissy and Tavros re-enter the car. Vrissy takes note of the tension, but doesn’t say anything, and Tavros seems too preoccupied to notice. Vriska stirs in her sleep and your attention flips back to worrying about her. 

Several hours pass, and you make it across the border. Harry, for all his faults, is a convincing actor, and you suppose he really is shaken by the day’s events. The guard buys it without question. 

You direct him to a farmhouse on the far edge of the Carapace Kingdom, which has a few secret treaties in place for amnesty and asylum for former revolutionaries. Some of the higher ups in the government are sympathetic to the troll’s cause, due to their intense love for the Mayor. It doesn’t hurt that you have pictures of you and Dave hanging out with the guy, from all the way back in the day. The mayor did a pretty damn good job setting all of these kingdoms and treaties up, and then you and your friends (many of them former, or not very close in the first place) had to ruin it. 

You, Tavros, and Vrissy get out of the car, and drag out Gamzee’s corpse and Vriska’s still-sleeping form with you. Harry drives off with a scowl on his face. You brace yourself, because it’s early in the night and a bad day to bother the troll you’re asking for help. 

You knock on an old comrade’s door. 

A porch light flicks on and a scowling and unbelieving jadeblood in a bathrobe opens the door. Her tone is harsh, but surprised. 

SWIFER: karkat fucking vantas  
SWIFER: you come to me  
SWIFER: on the anniversary of my moirail’s death  
KARKAT: I’M SORRY, SWIFER. CLIPER WAS ONE OF THE BEST TROLLS I KNEW.  
KARKAT: HIS DEATH WEIGHS HEAVIER ON MY CONSCIENCE THAN MOST.  
SWIFER: im assuming from the gang of shmucks and the dead enemy of the revolution that this is an emergency  
KARKAT: YOU WERE MY ONLY OPTION. MAY WE COME IN?  
SWIFER: sure, fine, i don’t get that many visitors anyways  
SWIFER: lets get sleeping beauty over there some medical attention  
SWIFER: go on in the kitchen, kids, get some grub, you look famished  
SWIFER: let the adults talk shop  
TAVROS: thank, you,  
VRISSY: *yawn* yes thank you im Starving  
SWIFER: that’s the matriarch’s kid?  
KARKAT: YEAH.  
SWIFER: how are the caverns  
KARKAT: THEY WERE ATTACKED THIS MORNING, YOU MAY HAVE HEARD, BUT LAST I KNEW BOTH KANAYA AND THE MOTHERGRUB WERE SAFE AND IN THE PROCESS OF RELOCATION, WITH ONLY MINIMAL CASUALTIES ON OUR SIDE.  
SWIFER: fighting a jade in her own caverns is a fool’s errand. you’ll get torn to shreds.  
KARKAT: FROM WHAT I HEARD, THE HUMANS DID.  
SWIFER: why are you here, vantas?  
SWIFER: not that it isn’t a treat to see the lord commander in person  
KARKAT: GOD, DON’T REMIND ME OF THAT STUPID TITLE.  
KARKAT: WE WERE YOUNG AND DUMB AND FULL OF OURSELVES.  
SWIFER: and you aren’t now?  
KARKAT: I’M TIRED, SWIFER. THERE’S AN OPPORTUNITY TO END THIS, NOW THAT MAKARA’S OUT OF THE PICTURE, AND I’M GOING TO TAKE IT. THE EMPIRE’S ON THE BACK FOOT FOR THE FIRST TIME IN SWEEPS, AND THAT’S CROCKER’S FUCKING SON NEXT TO MARYAM’S.  
SWIFER: no shit?  
KARKAT: NO SHIT.  
KARKAT: KANAYA AND I MIGHT BE GEARING UP FOR A FINAL ASSAULT SOON, AND WE NEED TO HAVE A REPLACEMENT ON DECK AS THE MATRIARCH IN CASE SHE DIES.  
SWIFER: surely there are others available.  
KARKAT: THEY KEEP GETTING KILLED. PART OF THE REASON I CAME TO YOU AND NOT ANY OF THE OTHERS IN HIDING IS BECAUSE I CAME TO ASK YOU BACK.  
SWIFER: i don’t know. i don’t think i could lose anyone else.  
KARKAT: IF I’M GOING TO KILL JANE CROCKER, I NEED KANAYA BY MY SIDE. AND FOR KANAYA TO FIGHT ON THE FRONTLINES LIKE THAT SHE NEEDS TO KNOW THERE’S SOMEONE SHE CAN TRUST WITH THE MOTHERGRUB. YOU’RE THE ONLY OPTION.  
SWIFER: when you put it like that, i don’t know that i have much choice.  
KARKAT: I’M SORRY.  
SWIFER: i know you are. i know you were when cliper died, and when xanfas died, and when restor got captured and came back half the troll they were, and when guevar sacrificed himself so the rest of us could escape. i know you are every time a troll under your command dies for the cause. i know that’s why you let me leave.  
SWIFER: its just you, me, peixes and the matriarch left from the early days, isn’t it?  
KARKAT: YEAH.  
SWIFER: you and the matriarch still seein each other paleways?  
KARKAT: YEAH, WE ARE.  
SWIFER: you take care of her, you hear me? she’s a better troll than either of us.  
KARKAT: SHE IS, ISN’T SHE.  
SWIFER: goddamn right.  
SWIFER: fuck it.  
SWIFER: i’ll do it. what the hell do i got to lose, anyway. not much of a life out here, especially if all you chucklefucks get yourselves killed.  
KARKAT: THANK YOU, SWIFER.  
SWIFER: i’m doin it for the mothergrub and cause duty calls, alright? not cause of you, or for old times sake or any shit like that. we both lost too much to be the idealists we were back in the day.  
SWIFER: now come inside and tell me who the fuck that ceruleanblood bleedin all over my couch is  
KARKAT: YES MA’AM.  



	8. CHAPTER SIX: ACCULTURATION

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Vriska gets filled in on what she's missed.

==> Be Vriska Serket.

Fuck, your head hurts. You must have slept for a while, because it’s dark outside, and you’re on an unfamiliar couch. Where are your friends? You groan and try to sit up and ohhhhh fuck your blood is back to your head now, that’s not fun. You must have gotten your shit rocked by something. There are bandages on your face where something else used to be… your eyepatch? Yeah, that was it. There’s gauze where the eyepatch was, and it wraps around your head, tucked under your hair. An older troll you’re pretty sure you haven’t met before walks in, mopping her hands on an apron stained with what looks like your blood. 

SWIFER: oh, good, sleepin beauty’s awake.  
VRISKA: Sorry, who are you?  
SWIFER: name’s swifer eggmop. i’m an old friend of karkat’s.  
VRISKA: That’s a dum8ass name.  
SWIFER: that’s the one pass you get, because you have a concussion and aren’t in your right mind.  
SWIFER: i don’t care if you’re a god or a creator or what   
SWIFER: you insult me again i’ll gut you like a fucking fish  
VRISKA: Got it.  
SWIFER: how ya feelin  
VRISKA: Like shit.  
SWIFER: yeah, that tracks. you got your brainpan knocked around pretty good on reentry, from what the other young’uns said.  
SWIFER: karkat never apparently thought to wonder why you were bleeding from your eye  
SWIFER: fucking dumbass  
SWIFER: and so i lay you down on my kitchen table to figure out what the fuck is the problem  
SWIFER: pop the eyepatch off  
SWIFER: and you got a whole ass shard of reality  
SWIFER: his words not mine, i dunno what the fuck he’s talkin about  
SWIFER: spearing ya fuckin cornea.  
SWIFER: i was trained as a medic, thankfully, so we got ya patched up pretty fast.  
VRISKA: Am i going to go 8lind in that eye?  
SWIFER: fuck if i know. not too many gods get seriously injured in the first place, and when they do it’s usually fatal. if you were a regular troll, there’s no way in hell that’s getting fixed, but for you it might heal.  
VRISKA: can i talk to karkat?  


The jadeblood mutters under her breath. 

SWIFER: (not one word of fuckin thanks in my own damn home)  
SWIFER: not right now, you both need quite a bit of rest. in the morning.  
SWIFER: if you aren’t hungry or thirsty, you really oughta lay back down.  
VRISKA: okay.  


You aren’t used to being taken care of. Terezi tried, sometimes, but she wasn’t very good at it, and Kanaya was much less adept than she liked to pretend. This jadeblood – Swifer – reminds you of her, in a way. More gruff, and unlike Kanaya, outwardly pissed that she has to take care of people, but Swifer does it anyway. Shit, is Kanaya as old as Karkat is? Is Terezi? You know Vrissy told you some things about them, but between the post-clownmurder bliss and the head injuries, it didn’t really sink in.  


Swifer notices your thoughts spiraling, it seems, and slaps a sopor patch on your forehead to accelerate your sleep. The last thing you see before your good eye closes is her leaning back in a rocking chair, angled to face the front door, with a shotgun across her lap. 

Breakfast is quiet. Vrissy and Tavros talk about nothing in low tones, and while all Swifer’s movements are loud, she doesn’t actually say much. You’re still trying to piece together what exactly happened the past few days, and you’re trying to avoid staring at Karkat. He’s… old. While Swifer just looks like an older, slightly more green-tinted version of you, with a lot of stress lines on her face, Karkat looks like a proper adult Alternian. Skin rough and dark like coal, his entire sclera candy red, and he’s a head taller than everyone else at the table. And he’s scarred most everywhere you can see, still wearing the eyepatch with his symbol on it (embroidered, by either Kanaya or Rose, no doubt, in the same bright red). One of his forearms is mechanical, from the elbow down, and its nicer than your prosthetic was. He’s changed into a pair of sweats instead of the military jumpsuit, but there’s still a knife and a pistol around his hip, and you remember that the captchalogue he used earlier was packing heat as well. He’s antsy, constantly looking out the window despite Swifer’s admonishments. You suppose you are too, for different reasons. 

You pick at your food. You aren’t very hungry, despite Swifer telling you, rightfully, that you need to eat to get your strength back up. She, Tavros, and Vrissy finish their plates and dump them in the sink, and exit the room, leaving you and Karkat to talk. He hasn’t eaten much either, and while you can tell that the muscles under his thin shirt are coiled and well-built, he’s thinner than he should be. 

Karkat clears his throat. You aren’t sure where to begin. 

KARKAT: SO.  
VRISKA: So.  
KARKAT: NICE WEATHER, HUH?  
VRISKA: Yeah.  


It is nice out. The sun is shining through the small window over the sink, casting a windowpane shadow over the kitchen table. You think for a second you see your own blood, stained on the tablecloth, but when you blink its gone. 

KARKAT: I’M SURE YOU HAVE A LOT OF QUESTIONS.  
KARKAT: I’LL DO MY BEST TO GIVE YOU THE ANSWERS.  
VRISKA: What’s the deal with the 8ig 8oss cosplay?  


He snorts a little. You aren’t sure why you started there, but it might help you get into a rhythm like you used to. You, making fun of Karkat, and him, blowing up about it. You aren’t sure that you want it to be like the old days – you were both different people then – but it’s a starting point. 

KARKAT: IT WAS DAVE’S IDEA. WE NEEDED A SYMBOL, HE SAID, AN IDEAL TO LIVE UP TO, AND METAL GEAR WAS ONE OF THE PIECES OF CULTURE THAT DIDN’T SURVIVE THE TRANSITION TO EARTH C.  
VRISKA: So you’ve been cosplaying a video game for however long and no one except the other players know?  
KARKAT: YEAH, ALTHOUGH I WOULDN’T CALL IT COSPLAYING.  
VRISKA: Fine, then, you’re doing a long-form FLARP.  
KARKAT: I AM NOT FLARPING AS BIG BOSS.  
VRISKA: You kind of are.  
KARKAT: WE ARE NOT DOING THIS.  
VRISKA: I’m not saying it isn’t a good look! You’re rocking it, honest.  
VRISKA: The eyepatch and the scars give you a very rugged aesthetic.  
KARKAT: STOP.  
VRISKA: It’s true!  
KARKAT: I AM NOT GOING TO LISTEN TO YOU COMPLIMENT MY DUMBASS TROLL RENEGADE OUTFIT.  
VRISKA: Are you saying 8ig 8oss is a dum8ass?   
VRISKA: And also, you’re insulting my friend, which I don’t take lightly.  
KARKAT: YOU ARE FRIENDS WITH BIG BOSS FROM TROLL METAL GEAR SOLID.  
VRISKA: No, idiot, I’m friends with you.  
KARKAT: OH. RIGHT.  
VRISKA: Did you think we weren’t friends?  
KARKAT: NO NO, I’M JUST… SURPRISED TO HEAR YOU SAY IT SO PLAINLY.  
VRISKA: We can chalk up me 8eing a total sap to the concussion.  
VRISKA: Oh! I just realized, I want a cool metal gear outfit too.  
KARKAT: ABSOLUTELY NOT.  
VRISKA: Let me think, the age difference means I would pro8a8ly 8e from the Solid Snake generation… ooooooooh, I could be Naommi Hunter! Smart, wants revenge, does betrayal, later returns to the side of good…  
KARKAT: VRISKA, PLEASE, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, STOP.  
VRISKA: No, this is wayyyyyyyy too juicy to pass up. Wait. Dave is Kazuhi Miller, isn’t he?  
KARKAT: VRISKA I AM BEGGING YOU PLEASE STOP TALKING.  
VRISKA: Shades, 8londe, endlessly devoted to his on-again off-again lover8oy 8ig 8oss…  
KARKAT: I FUCKING HATE YOU.  
VRISKA: No you don’t, especially 8ecause you know I’m right.   
VRISKA: Speaking of Dave, is he still kicking?  
KARKAT: I UH  
KARKAT: I GOT WORD THIS MORNING THAT HE DIED.  
VRISKA: Oh.  
KARKAT: YEAH. I KINDA DON’T BELIEVE IT MYSELF.   
KARKAT: I KNOW HOW THIS STUFF GOES. IT’LL SINK IN, WHEN I LEAST EXPECT IT.  
KARKAT: I’VE HAD A LOT OF PEOPLE DIE ON ME.  
KARKAT: BUT STILL… DAVE? I NEVER THOUGHT IT WOULD BE HIM.  
VRISKA: Were you guys still… close?  
KARKAT: LESS THAN WE USED TO BE, BUT HE WAS ONE OF THE FEW GODS THAT STARTED THE REVOLUTION WITH ME.  
KARKAT: SO IT’S A PRETTY BIG LOSS, BOTH FOR THE MOVEMENT, AND PERSONALLY.  
VRISKA: I’m sorry.  
VRISKA: It seems like yesterday that I was making fun of you guys on the lilypad.  
KARKAT: IT’S BEEN ALMOST THIRTY YEARS FOR ME.  
VRISKA: God damn. Who’s all around?  
KARKAT: IN TERMS OF THE PEOPLE YOU CARE ABOUT, OR WOULD KNOW?   
KARKAT: ROSE AND KANAYA ARE MARRIED, LEADERS OF OUR FORCES, AND JADE HELPS AS WELL.  
KARKAT: DAVE DID. HE AND JADE GOT MARRIED TOO.  
KARKAT: MEENAH SHOWED UP OUT OF THE BLUE A COUPLE YEARS BACK, JOINED THE CAUSE, AND WE’VE BEEN MATESPRITS FOR A WHILE. I HOPE THAT DOESN’T BOTHER YOU.  
VRISKA: Why would it?  


He looks at you, puzzled. Maybe he knows more about the other version of you than you did. 

KARKAT: IN TERMS OF THE OTHERS…  
KARKAT: JOHN RARELY LEAVES HIS HOUSE AND STAYS OUT OF THE WAR. JANE AND JAKE GOT MARRIED AND RUN THE IMPERIAL FORCES, WITH ROXY SUPPORTING FROM THE SIDELINES, ALTHOUGH INTEL SUGGESTS JAKE HAS BEEN LIVING WITH JOHN FOR A BIT NOW. DIRK IS DEAD, AND CALLIOPE DROPPED OFF THE MAP YEARS AGO.  


Your heart beats a little faster. Why didn’t he mention her? 

VRISKA: and……..  
KARKAT: TEREZI WENT LOOKING FOR YOU ALMOST TWENTY-FIVE YEARS AGO AND NEVER CAME BACK.  
KARKAT: I’M SORRY.  


God, its your fault, isn’t it? All of this is your fault. You had to be the hero. Terezi wouldn’t have let things get like this. 

KARKAT: I SHOULD HAVE TOLD YOU WHY WE’RE IN HIDING.  
KARKAT: JANE CROCKER HAS BEEN WAGING A SLOW WAR OF EXTERMINATION ON TROLLKIND FOR THE PAST TWENTY YEARS, AND CONTROLS ALL WORLD GOVERNMENT AS THE EMPRESS OF THE BETTY CROCKER CORPORATION.  
VRISKA: Shit.  
KARKAT: YEAH.  


You shove thoughts of Terezi out of your mind. You’ll cry about that later. 

VRISKA: Then the men and the drone you killed yesterday?  
KARKAT: ALL CROCKER’S. SHE AND GAMZEE WERE A THING.  
VRISKA: Gross.  
KARKAT: COMPLETELY.  
VRISKA: As fun as calling out your metal gear cosplay group is, I do want to talk about yesterday.  
VRISKA: Its all a 8lur, 8ut you were… 8rutal. Efficient. Ruthless.  
VRISKA: Like a legend come to life.  
KARKAT: IS THAT A COMPLIMENT?  
VRISKA: I dunno. Should it 8e?  
VRISKA: Don’t get me wrong, I’m impressed, and grateful, 8ut…  
VRISKA: I never took you for the type.  
VRISKA: I don’t think you’d even ever hurt any8ody 8efore the game, and even on the meteor, you always tried talking first!  
VRISKA: You were 8etter than me, in that regard.  
VRISKA: 8etter than all of us.  
VRISKA: So watching you slaughter six men without a second thought, I just…  


You're laughing now, for some reason, specks of tears in your eyes. 

VRISKA: I can't...  
VRISKA: I can’t figure out how to wrap my head around it!  
VRISKA: It doesn’t make sense!  


Karkat sighs, and pinches the bridge of his nose. The spark that had animated him when you were arguing is gone. 

KARKAT: IT’S WAR. THINGS DON’T MAKE SENSE. PEOPLE CHANGE, FOR BETTER OR WORSE.  
KARKAT: I’M NOT HEARTLESS. EVERY DEATH I CAUSE WEIGHS ON ME, BUT, AFTER A WHILE, THEY JUST…  
KARKAT: BLEND TOGETHER.  
KARKAT: I KNOW YOU UNDERSTAND THAT BETTER THAN MOST.  
VRISKA: I do.  
KARKAT: I’M NOT THE TROLL YOU USED TO KNOW.  
KARKAT: I MAY DO THINGS FOR A GOOD CAUSE, BUT I’M NOT A GOOD MAN.  
KARKAT: NOT ANYMORE.  
KARKAT: THAT LAST SOLDIER, THE ONE WHO TRIED TO SHOOT YOU.  
KARKAT: I COULD HAVE SPARED HIM, CHOKED HIM OUT INSTEAD OF SNAPPING HIS NECK.  
KARKAT: I DIDN’T. I KILLED HIM.  
KARKAT: AND I DON’T KNOW WHY.  
KARKAT: THERE ARE TOO MANY SOLDIERS LIKE THAT, VRISKA.  
KARKAT: TOO MANY.  
VRISKA: I don’t know what to say. KARKAT: YOU DON’T HAVE TO SAY ANYTHING.  
KARKAT: YOU DID US A VERY BIG FAVOR BY TAKING OUT GAMZEE.  
KARKAT: YOU DON’T HAVE TO FIGHT, IF YOU DON’T WANT TO, AND I’D LIKE TO SPARE YOU THAT IF I CAN.  
KARKAT: THIS IS A BURDEN I HAVE TO CARRY.  
KARKAT: IT’S NOT ALL VIOLENCE. THERE’S REAL COMRADERY, AND THE DUTY TO FIGHT FOR THE HOPE OF A BRIGHTER FUTURE.  
KARKAT: REST UP. WE’LL BE MAKING THE TRIP BACK TO BASE TOMORROW, ALL FIVE OF US.  


He stands up to leave, and he looks so tired, so heavy, with the sins he carries always on his back. 

VRISKA: Karkat.  


He looks back at you, and it’s a look of terror, like he knows that if Vriska Serket, serial murderer, thinks he’s a bad person, the fact would break him. 

VRISKA: I don’t think killing those guys makes you a 8ad person.  


His face settles back into its usual hardened stare, the mask he wears just like he wore the rage when he was young. There’s a sadness, lurking in his one good eye. 

KARKAT: THAT MAKES ONE OF US.  



	9. PARALOGUE TWO: RECONFIGURATION

==> Be Amixia Torpas. 

You’re pulling a double shift today as radio operator because the troll you’re supposed to be training got delayed by a couple of Imperial roadblocks and had to lay low for a couple days. Not that you mind, really, although lately it seems every second that you aren’t asleep or eating is spent in front of the massive monitors and old-school switchboards, constantly taking notes on possible troop movements and reports from the various military and civilian fronts. You bang out an abridged shorthand of an intercepted Crockercorp memo on your typewriter, pull it through, tuck it into one of the hundreds of manila folders on the table next to you, and stamp it [ENEMY INTEL] [CLEARANCE THREE] [PRIORITY YELLOW]. You pass it to one of the base runners, a 5-sweep old named Bharit. He hasn’t taken a secondary name yet, as is the tradition for trolls that grew up in the revolution. A rescue, like yourself, although you were old enough when Big Boss recruited you that you had a full name already. Bharit got orphaned when he was two sweeps, and since his caretakers were revolutionaries, the government couldn’t be trusted with his safety. 

Rescues were perfect for data work, because they could be trusted completely not to leak any of it. Its not like most of them had ever known anything but the cause. 

Its not like you had anything outside of it to go back to. 

AMIXIA: i’m giving you permission to take this straight to lalonde’s desk ---   
BHARIT: i-its yellow priority ma-maam  
AMIXIA: its not an emergency ---  
AMIXIA: don’t interrupt her if she’s busy ---  
AMIXIA: but she’ll want to know a s a p ---  
AMIXIA: might influence some of that future sight of hers ---  
BHARIT: o-okay  


He runs off. The memo concerned a filed missings persons case for one Tavros Crocker, although it says the corp police suspected kidnapping, with ransom soon to follow. That wasn’t exactly news, just confirmation that Big Boss hadn’t up and died since his last transmission, although it could be part of a disinformation campaign to hunt down the leaker in the corp. Even you didn’t know who it was, because this was one of the most dangerous spy positions in the entire cause, but they had sent messages saying that they felt Crocker was catching on, which meant they were high up in the company hierarchy. The real piece of news was that Crocker was apparently *very* upset about Tavros’s disappearance, acting irrationally out of grief, and losing her composure in company meetings. That was new. Every report you got said no matter the injury or insult suffered, Crocker always kept composed. The analytical part of you wondered whether the war could have been brought to a head sooner if Tavros had been kidnapped for real years ago. You chased the thought out of your mind. The only reason you trusted the revolution in the first place was because no one fucked with kids. 

You put your focus back to the endless beeping of the switchboard and the monitors, trying to get back in that sweet spot, where all the information in the world was at your fingertips. It makes you feel in control, when you were in the zone, juggling calls and dispatches and requests for help. Other operators had begun to coordinate military offenses, using more modern tech, but you had been an operator when the revolution had nothing except a switchboard and a typewriter and stamps, and you were going to stick to what you knew. 

A crash sounds on the floor above you and you threw off your headset and whipped out the pistol you kept holstered under your desk, spinning around to face the door, heart pounding. Bharit stands in the doorway, fear in his young eyes. You feel awful as you lower the gun. It’s been almost as long as the kids been alive, and yet every time you hear a bump in the night you a part of you panics. You tuck the pistol back into its spot under the desk, and take a moment to breathe, listening to the soothing chirps and beeps of the switchboard. The base therapist’s voice sounds in your head. She hadn’t finished her degree before she’d been outed as a rebel sympathizer and had to go into hiding. 

THERAPIST: If you don’t ever let yourself feel the memories, feel the pain that its caused you, you won’t ever heal. Let it happen and ride it out. Remember the good parts of it as much as the bad, okay? And breathe.  


You let yourself step into the memory for a minute. There’s blood, so much of it, and a knife in your hands, and the house mother looking at you in shock. Terror in her eyes. A human soldier, dead at your feet, his neck ripped open, and his partner, slumped against the wall, bleeding out from the stab wounds you put in his chest. The grubsteak knife clatters to the ground. Your hands are covered in sticky, red, warm blood, and you don’t know how you got here. You don’t know when you lost control, turned into the beast that could have done this. The teenage beast that ripped open two grown men with a knife. You don’t know how much time passes with you standing there, staring at your hands, the man against the wall’s breath slowly becoming shallower and shallower, listening to him die in mute shock as the house mother runs around outside the room, trying to pack a bag for both of you, calming the other, younger children in the group home. She’s too scared of what you’ve become to comfort you. 

Eventually, a tall, dark troll in an eyepatch and an urban camo suit walks in slowly, leans down in a crouch in front of you, wipes the blood off your hands, quietly says your name and makes you look at him, look at the pity in his hard eyes. He tells you, in a quiet, gruff voice, that you did a very difficult thing. That you saved a life by taking two others, the lives of two very bad men. That he’s sorry, that you had to, that he didn’t get here sooner, that he couldn’t carry this burden for you, but that he’s proud of you. That he wants you to come with him, because there’s nothing for you here anymore. That he has a home for people that can’t live in the regular world after what they’ve had to do. You, in the dream, nod mutely, a seven-sweep old that wouldn’t talk again for perigees. That learned to find comfort in the rhythm of information, in the beeping and the control that commanding a switchboard gave you. That joined a revolution and never left. 

You breathe, and pull yourself back to the present, as you hear a familiar beep that means Big Boss is calling. The savior of trollkind, that gave you a purpose and a place and a way to live with what you’ve done. You move around some cords and slip back on your headset, feeling back in your place in the world. The flashbacks and the panic attacks happen less than they used to. You’re healing, even as the world gets worse. 

KARKAT: BIG BOSS TO OPERATOR.  
AMIXIA: operator’s here reading you loud and clear ---  
KARKAT: I NEED AN EXTRACTION VAN AT THE COORDINATES I’M ABOUT TO SEND, THE BEST, MOST DISCREET TEAM WE HAVE, AND ROOM FOR FIVE.  
KARKAT: THE STORM’S BLOWN OVER ENOUGH, WE’RE COMING HOME.  
AMIXIA: right on it sir ---  


You want to say something like ‘thank you’, but this is a radio channel, and you have a job to do. 


	10. CHAPTER SEVEN: EXAMINATION

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kanaya pays a visit to her wife.

==> Be Kanaya Maryam

You knock on the door to your wife’s office, holding a dinner tray set for two. She’s been holed up there for days, ever since Vriska Serket crashed to Earth C, killed Gamzee Makara-Crocker, and changed the state of the war dramatically. Rose doesn’t answer, but the door isn’t locked, so you let yourself in. Rose is leaning back in a stuffed chair, mopping her forehead idly with a damp towel. The walls are strung up with purple yarn connecting what must be hundreds of reports and sticky notes, all trying to keep track of the changing political situation and potential futures. 

KANAYA: Rose  
ROSE: … definitively on the west coast of the troll kingdom, that could prompt a response from Crocker, and trick her into exposing the heart of her political base…  


You set the tray down on a stack of discarded reports on her desk, looking at two of the central pieces in her web of ideas, annotated in purple marker. ‘CROCKER VULNERABLE’ is one, and ‘JUGGALORATOR DECEASED – CONVERTS?’ is the other. You won’t pretend to know why exactly those are crucial keystones to a good future, but you get the general idea. Rose’s eyes are glazed over, and her pupils flit back and forth like she is paging through a book. You snap your fingers in front of her face. 

KANAYA: Rose  
ROSE: Oh, Kanaya, my darling wife. I apologize for my lack of response; I was deep in thought.  
KANAYA: I Can See That  
ROSE: May I ask what brings you to interrupt me from my work? Not that I don’t love your presence, but the current situation necessitates the full use of my godly gifts.  
KANAYA: Rose  
KANAYA: It Is Four O Clock  
ROSE: And?  
KANAYA: In The Morning  
KANAYA: I’m Sure You Haven’t Eaten Since The Last Time I  
KANAYA: Interrupted  


You say this with a smirk on your face, but deep down, you worry. You worry that Rose will start to lose herself, like she did all those years ago. Like you can only assume the elder Strider did. 

ROSE: I apologize… it’s just. There’s so much new possibility.  
ROSE: And that’s ignoring the potential return of Terezi, or of some alternate versions of ourselves, or anything that we would have judged as patently ridiculous not three days ago.  


She looks up at you, eyes bagged, and face tired from the strain. There is a single gray streak in her otherwise platinum blonde hair – a holdover, from the stress of the game and then her burgeoning ascension. 

She’s even more gorgeous than the day you laid eyes on her in person, birthed anew from a gigantic green sun. 

ROSE: I think we could end this, Kanaya, in one fell swoop.  
KANAYA: I Want To Hear More  
KANAYA: But Please Rose  
KANAYA: Dinner First  


It’s a miracle that either your wife or your moirail can take care of themselves without you around, but at least in the latter case, Meenah helps. 

You sip your Alternian Bloody Mary as Rose picks at grubloaf and mashed potatoes. She doesn’t really need to eat, by virtue of being a god, and you only need to feed about once a week anyway, unless you are injured. That being said, sharing a meal is a necessary component of keeping your relationship intact, and Rose grounded in her humanity. After several minutes of comfortable silence, of Rose coming back down to the planet from her visions of likely futures, she speaks again. 

ROSE: What do you consider a happy ending to all this?  
KANAYA: Hmmm  


You roll it over in your mind. You know what she is asking you, really. What do you value most? 

KANAYA: I Wouldn’t Consider It A Victory Without  


You click your tongue in thought, thinking. 

KANAYA: Trollkind Free And Jades Running The Caverns  
KANAYA: The Batterwitch Deposed  
KANAYA: Political Power Placed Back In The Hands Of Mortals  
KANAYA: As Few Dead On Both Sides As Is Feasible  
KANAYA: And You Our Daughter And I Happy And Safe  
ROSE: We’re on the same page then, in the figurative sense. In the more literal sense, I’m on a lot of pages.  
ROSE: Hundreds of thousands of potential realities, all arising from the tiniest diversions in course, but the same general outcomes, most of the time.  
ROSE: In most one of us is killed, or most of the population of Earth C dies, or we never win at all.  
ROSE: And in many more than I would like, eventually, another god takes political power.  
ROSE: Another civil war between the gods erupts.  
ROSE: And when that happens, some of us die.  
ROSE: It’s almost guaranteed.  
ROSE: Incredibly likely.  
ROSE: I’ve been working overtime, pushing myself to the limit, because when Karkat returns with Tavros Crocker, our daughter, and Vriska Serket in tow, the whole world erupts with potential.  
ROSE: The actions we take at that moment, and in the following week, shape the history of the world to come.  
KANAYA: That Seems Like  
KANAYA: A Great Deal Of Pressure To Bear  
KANAYA: My Dear  
KANAYA: I Am Not Immune To The Tempting Allure Of A Good Worry  
KANAYA: As I Am Sure You Are Aware  


Rose’s mouth quirks into the barest hint of a smile, and your heart swells a little. 

ROSE: Oh, you barely understand how deep my well of awareness ventures.  
ROSE: Far past the bones of antediluvian horrors some would call dragons, and we would call dinosaurs.  
ROSE: So far down, in fact, one might even say it reaches to China.  
KANAYA: What Is China Again  
ROSE: Drat.  
ROSE: My darling alien vampire wife, please do try to keep up.  
ROSE: China, of course, is a long dead civilization that you have no reason to know would be on roughly the other side of the planet.  
KANAYA: I See  
KANAYA: That Is A Fairly Convincing Metaphor  
KANAYA: Once I Have Been Blessed With The Irrelevant Cultural Knowledge Of A Long Dead Alien Society  
KANAYA: All In The Name Of What Some Might Call  
KANAYA: A Joke  
ROSE: To be fair, given the presumption of the audience understanding the relevant cultural knowledge, it was a pretty good joke.  
ROSE: Dave could have riffed with me on it. He would have, too.  


Her face falls, and what was for a second the girl you bantered with, two snarky broads and their ridiculous horseshit, all those long years ago, is back to the hardened tactician holed up in her room. 

KANAYA: How Are You Holding Up On That Front  
ROSE: Not well, to say the least. The man, who at thirteen, joined me on a suicide mission merely so I wouldn’t die alone, is gone. One of my closest friends in the whole damn world, and what by all accounts is a brother, left his body behind.  
ROSE: To go where, or to do what, I have no idea.  
ROSE: And although I’m not actively looking for it…  
ROSE: I can’t help but notice that in every probable future… Dave isn’t there.  
ROSE: I think he’s…  


Her breath hitches. Tears slip down her face, and you wrap her in a hug. You didn’t know Dave nearly as well as either Rose or Karkat did, but he was a close friend in the same way Terezi and Vriska were, back on the meteor trip all those years ago. Rose would have felt a lot more alone without him. You’ll grieve, in your own way, when you get the chance. For now, you have to be strong for your wife and your moirail. 

ROSE: I think Dave’s… dead.  
ROSE: At least to this world, and he isn’t coming back.  
ROSE: God, how am I going to break this to Jade?  
ROSE: She’s already barely keeping it together.  
KANAYA: We Will Figure It Out  
KANAYA: The Two Of Us  
KANAYA: Darling  
KANAYA: I’m Right Here  
KANAYA: And At Least For The Next Couple Hours  
KANAYA: I’m Not Going Anywhere.  


She sobs, silently, into your waiting arms. She isn’t really letting it all go, she never does, the type to always keep control, even if it’s only the slightest bit. You know she’s afraid that if she let herself break down completely, she wouldn’t be able to put herself back together, that some essential part of being Rose Lalonde would be lost in the process. You think that’s bullshit, of course, she is infinitely stronger than she knows, but this isn’t the time. If the situation is as critical as Rose says it is, you’ll need her. Not her foresight, not her power, not her tactical mind – her. 

You rub her the small of her back, whispering gently when the tears subside that you’ll return shortly, and remove the cushions from the seldom-used couch in her office, pulling out the daybed hidden within. You decaptchalogue some of the pillows and blankets you always keep on your person, arranging them nicely for a nap, and pull your tired wife to the bed for some much-needed rest. She leans against your chest, breathing in tune with the gentle hum of an ancient Alternian lullaby, and soon falls asleep in your arms. 

It is midmorning, the clock on the wall says, when you wake. Rose is already up, a coffee in her hands, flipping through files in the same rumpled clothes she slept in. Half the tacked-up reports have been torn down, and in their place, several more pieces have been moved. Arranged in a circular pattern are several slightly concerning notes. ‘VRISKA SERKET – THIEF OF LIGHT – AT COMBAT PEAK’ and ROXY LALONDE – ROGUE OF VOID – MAIN OBSTACLE TO BATTERWITCH – CAPTURE ALIVE’ are connected with purple yarn. Tacked up, as well, are the notes you noticed earlier, with a string connecting them to ‘TAVROS CROCKER – POTENTIAL DOUBLE AGENT / ASSORTED SUBTERFUGE’. You, Meenah, and Karkat’s names are also up there, connected to a satellite image of Crocker’s flagship that Dave and Jade captured from low orbit a couple years back. Also on the wall, unconnected for the moment, is the file of one Swifer Eggmop, although you haven’t seen her in years. In the center, radiating taped-up strands of yarn to almost every document, a massive inquisitive squiggle (the proper term is a question mark, you remind yourself) is drawn directly on the wall. 

She looks at you, a renewed fire in her eyes that makes you shiver, and only partially in the good way. 

ROSE: Kanaya.  
ROSE: Karkat will be here soon, with his juvenile charges in tow, and an old friend along for the ride.  
ROSE: I believe I may have found a path forward.  
ROSE: But I have to ask.  


She pauses, and the fire in her eyes dies down to something that looks darker. A look that restarts the little itch, the wonder always lurking in the back of your mind, the piece of you that says Rose is seeing lives as chess pieces again, her immortal body and limited omniscience distancing her from the realities of her choices. Choices that decide who lives and who dies. 

Choices that were she not literally divine, one might have condemned as playing god. 

ROSE: What are you willing to sacrifice for our happy ending?  


**Author's Note:**

> You can also check out this story, as the chapters are written, and featuring bonus artwork, here; http://homestuck2.net/hs2site/adventures.html#


End file.
